What a small world!

(Dana, Zhanar, Bek, Ainur, Begen, Assem)

We live in a relatively small town, and yet it's home for 4 or more years to a wonderful group of Central Asian students who come to study at Indiana University. This past weekend we had the privilege of hosting a Graduation BBQ for some of the women we're closest to, as well as their families and friends.

I'm still amazed that we can live in the American Midwest, and yet have our yard full of Kazakh friends, all the while practicing our Russian over potato salad and hamburgers----just miles from Indiana cornfields and pastures.

We spent 4 of the most wonderful and adventure-filled years of our lives in Central Asia, then "settled" in sleepy Indiana. But to our great delight, God has filled our lives with the richness of Central Asia, right here in our backyard. I love this place!

And I can't speak for Zack, but I always wonder how it ministers to his heart to be surrounded by so many wonderful college students who share his heritage (and beautiful Asian features.)

Musings about joy in the midst of pain

Blake has been gone for 46 days... and the kids, the dog and I are still very much alive. Thankfully, Blake is scheduled to return home in 72 hours! So, you might be wondering, how did we do? Did we thrive, or just survive?
Well, we had good days and very-not-good days. We laughed, cried, moped, rejoiced. There were times of satisfaction in my parenting and in my ability to weather this storm. There were other times when I broke down and wept and shouted things at God in my anger--things I don't actually mean when I'm in my right mind. But, what I did differently this time apart is that I kept my heart open to God. I did not cut myself off and embrace the lie of self-reliance. I have stayed open to God and to what He wanted to teach me.
But what I've pondered and chewed on the most is that in the midst of my incredible sadness about Blake's absence, I have -- on some days -- felt incredible joy. That joy, in and of itself, has been a divine gift.
What has contributed to this joy? Being the recipient of the gift of a new job that came to me from the Father at the exact right time in my life. He knew that giving me this job would cause my feet to skip across the campus of Indiana University and my face to be aglow---even while my heart ached for my best friend and the father of my kids.
My new job is to staff the growing Graduate Student and Faculty ministry of InterVarsity here at IU. It's the role of a chaplain. And I love it. For perhaps the first time in my 39.5 years of life, I feel perfectly equipped for the work I've been given. A perfect fit. And I'm having the time of my life. The fun I'm having watching God build a community of believers at IU has carried me through these past 2 months. I am eager for Blake's return (of course) and excited to see what the future holds on campus. [Blake will be home 2 1/2 weeks before leaving again...]

February's Granola of the Month

The Providence Granola Project exists to participate in helping newly-arrived international refugees rebuild their lives in Providence. I placed my first order last month and it was fantastic. www.providencegranola.blogspot.com to order.
Check out this story behind their new February flavor:

Subject: FEBRUARY'S GRANOLA RECIPE-OF-THE-MONTH

A NOTE FROM THE COOK: Back in 1999, when the soaring American dollar made eating in Canadian restaurants the bargain of the century, my wife and I (with our three little ones) spent a summer on study leave in Vancouver. We were broke, happy, reckless, and delighted to discover that in the Little India section of Cambie street for a mere four US dollars we could choose between a South Indian buffet on one side of the block and a North Indian buffet on the other, and at either one sample dishes, breads, and condiments to the point of indecency. This sort of gluttony became our Sunday tradition. On one of those Sundays, in a moment of self-control, we ventured across the street to an "African Indian" restaurant, where we were treated to a several course meal, starting with lemon soup, while the owner told us about the nearly 100,000 South Asians living for generations in Tanzania. (Lemon soup--strange how I sometimes forget how old I am, yet remember something I ate ten years ago.) On our way out he gave us a plastic bag of his home-made snack mix that included puffed rice, dried peas, fried noodles, sugar, pepper, raisins. It was salty, hot, with a hint of bitterness and a sweet finish. I ate it in one sitting. And so began my disillusion with American junk food.

Last time we visited, that little restaurant was gone. But this month's special recipe is a tribute to both the most fun movie of the year and that Tanzanian-Indian-Canadian snack mix. I've never actually heard of anything called "snacking granola" until I started making it--the idea is a granola to go with beer and football (or better yet, a movie with subtitles) rather than milk. Like the movie, this one is a little of everything--salty, sour, bitter, spicy, sweet. I've tried to keep the flavors modest and the heat under control, and of course, replaced all the processed carbs with whole grains, seeds, and extra fiber. Some of the spices have a centuries-old reputation for promoting health and a contemporary reputation for lowering cholesterol and blood sugar (fenugreek) or acting as an anti-inflammatory (turmeric)--so, despite the extra salt, this stuff has got to be good for you. My one disappointment was that all the reasonably priced peas contained artificial color, so I went with garbanzos. I hope you like it. Maybe this will be the next big thing in snack food.

Orders could start going out this week and will continue until we run out. Don't wait too long--January's flavor sold out by the third week. And if you haven't seen the movie yet, here's my suggestion: order now, then as soon as your bag arrives, hide it in your coat pocket and go see the movie on the big screen before it's too late.

One last thing: if you're part of the "club" and know that this or any month's recipe is not for you--drop us a line and we'll plan to send you two Originola's.

Ingredients: oats (org), barley (org), Sucanat (org minimally processed cane sugar), honey, canola oil (expeller pressed), sunflower seeds (org), flax seeds (org), sesame seeds (org), peanuts, cashews, almonds, oat bran (org), wheat germ, coconut (org), fried garbanzo beans, pecan meal, raisins, oat fiber, rye (org), almond extract, Celtic sea salt, cinnamon, fennel seeds, fenugreek, cumin, chili powder, turmeric, cardamom powder, curry leaves, coriander, nutmeg, black pepper, cloves.

The Adventure Begins....Again!

Family Update: Where in the world is Blake?

Blake left today for 3 months: one month each in 3 different countries (with a 2 week visit back home in March.) Kyrgyzstan is first. (Our home for 2 years way back when)

Many of you have asked which of his various hats he'll be wearing this time. The answer: PhD candidate. His goal is legal research in preparation for writing his dissertation. Yesterday we celebrated his passing his doctoral comprehensive exams! (Yes, the day before he left!)

The kids are older now than the last time we were separated for an extended period. Now they're 8, 7 and 5. Will it be just a tiny bit easier now that they're in school all day? Ask me in April! (-;

There's just one other thing I want to record here. When I asked God to speak to me about this semester, the words he put on my heart were these: "Thrive, don't just survive." [I've heard those before when we've been apart. Perhaps I didn't fully learn them the last time....]

So I've been pondering them ever since. Here's where I'm at: "But God, it's so much easier just to survive!! I can do that. I've done it before. I'm pretty good at survival mode. But thriving, Wow! That's raising the bar. My best friend/husband/father of my children just left me with three young kids and a crazy dog...."

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..."(excerpts from Paul's letter to the Colossians 1:10-11)

Well, I suspect that over the next three months I'm going to need a heavy dose of that same endurance and patience, and that I'll need his power in me if I am going to rise above my circumstances. Now I think I'll start pondering "joy" in the midst of difficulty.

Granola for a Good Cause

Friends of ours from Rhode Island have started this Granola Project to help refugees in the city of Providence. I just ordered two bags, including the flavor of the month. I hear it's very yummy.

Check out their blog: http://www.providencegranola.blogspot.com The site takes credit card orders now.

I'll write again soon---for those of you who have been wondering. 6 days till Blake leaves the country for three months.

Our Adoption Story---Making our way to Kazakhstan

In the end, all the drama, suspense, months of waiting, tears of anguish, miraculous signs and wonders were simply part of the faith history we carried with us to the airport. One morning in June 2004, Blake and I really did get on a plane and begin the long trip to Kazakhstan. Six months prior, God had called us, we had responded, and He had moved every mountain that stood in our way. As we stepped on that first-of-5 airplanes, we knew that although we had come through so much, there was still much ahead for which we still needed to see God's power.

We arrived in Almaty, Kazakhstan at nearly midnight. Having lived in the region for several years, going through passport control was a process we knew well. Thankfully we hadn't forgotten all of our Russian. The agent swiped my passport, stamped it and handed it back. And then, he swiped Blake's. Time stood still.

As I've said before, the story of Blake's inability to secure a visa from Kazakhstan years before is a story for another day, but needless to say, it was a faith-stretching time for us. Let's just say that on that dark night in June, the flashing light on the passport agent's computer reminded us afresh of our powerlessness to stay in a country when we were not welcome.

When he said to us, "Wait a minute" and then walked away, the ability to breathe nearly escaped me. We were, as you can imagine, very concerned---and in those first few moments I cried out to God: Have you brought us this far only to let us be turned back?!! I tried to phrase it as a question, but it might have been an accusation.

Minutes turned to nearly an hour---and we stood there. We prayed as an act of will and because we didn't know what else to do. I was scared. I rehearsed every wonder and sign God had performed for us as I willed myself to trust Him even in this. Through the window to the arrivals hall, I could just make out the welcome faces of the friends who had come to pick us up. I waved and clasped my hands together as a signal that they needed to pray too. At least in that moment they knew we had arrived.

By this point the cleaning lady with her short-handled broom had begun her nightly ritual of after-hours work. Everyone from our flight had come and gone. We alone stood waiting.

Our agent was nowhere to be found. We paced and prayed and recited memory verses under our breath.
And my God will supply all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus

I've never prayed with such desperation and fervor. I asked that legions of angels would come and carry us out of customs! At one point, we couldn't see any other people (except for the cleaning lady) and I began to wonder if they had forgotten us.

Finally our agent returned to his seat with Blake's passport in hand. He called us back over and for 10 more minutes we stood before him, trying to look as if this were all completely typical of our arrival in foreign countries. Eventually, he looked at his computer screen one last time, shrugged, looked up at us, and said in broken English, "Must be computer problem." He stamped Blake's passport and waved us through.

And that was our arrival into the country where our baby was waiting.

Our Adoption Story---Glitches, Miracles & Suspense

Days and weeks passed while we waited. Meanwhile two exciting events were added to our calendar, both of which would potentially affect our availability to travel to Kazakhstan---first, my brother's wedding in early July and second, Blake's assignment to the Embassy in Uzbekistan beginning in August. It was already late April and we would be required to spend at least a full month in Kazakhstan to complete the adoption!

(Journal entry) April 23, 2004: "Lord, nothing is too difficult for you. Please enable us to go get Zachary soon. Do not delay, Lord."

April 30, 2004: "Two mornings ago I just broke down in tears and wept; Blake held my hand. I cried out to God to release our dossier and allow us to go get Zachary soon!...'Help me to believe, help me overcome my disbelief.' I sobbed as I confessed that I don't feel able to keep believing anymore."

Amazingly, the very next day Inna called with the news that our dossier had been signed! BUT, there was a glitch. There were already 6 couples scheduled to travel in June and the adoption foundation decided we could not travel until July. I felt sick. Good news and awful news mixed together. There was no way to attend my precious brother's wedding on July 3rd, spend a month in Kazakhstan finalizing an adoption, and then move our entire family to Uzbekistan by August. Not possible.

I mustered the courage to tell Inna that though this was great news, July simply didn't work for us. Saying those words felt sacrilegious, as if I was saying that my anticipated "due date" didn't "fit my schedule." But an adoption is not a birth, and scheduling the travel is part of the equation, whether we found it comfortable or not. Inna, wonderful as always, said she understood our dilemma and would see what she could do.

(Journal) May 5, 2004: "Our God is great! He answers prayers! Yesterday afternoon, Inna called and said, 'How does departing on June 5th, arriving in Kazakhstan on June 6th and returning to the US on July 1st sound?' My reply: 'Perfect!' (Assuming everything went precisely on schedule! An unheard of expectation for Central Asia!)

As the momentous, long-awaited news sunk in, and I looked at our calendar, I realized that these dates were literally the only possible travel window that remained. God was amazing! But apparently we would thread the needle with our travel dates.

At this point, we believed the only remaining hurdle was Blake's visa. We were wrong.

(Journal) May 26, 2004 a.m.: One week from today we leave for Kazakhstan! [Still no visas]

May 26, p.m.: Inna just called and said "There is a problem." Our visas had been issued but for the wrong date. Someone from the foundation would have to hand-carry our passports to the Kazakh embassy in D.C. to beg for a change. Are you kidding me??

We struggled to celebrate the Mountain-Mover's obvious miracle. We didn't want to miss it in the midst of our turmoil. We had been granted VISAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! except for the small problem that they started the day after our arrival. ugh!!!!

May 27, 2004: Inna called and said we were given permission to change the dates but that the paperwork hadn't arrived at the Embassy by the close of business.

Of course it hadn't--because it was becoming clear that this process was designed to leave us hanging at every possible moment! The suspense was killing me!

So...the following day, a Friday, remained our final hope because Saturday the embassy was closed and Monday happened to be a federal holiday.

"Lord, thank you for this good news. With the unfinished parts, I put my trust in you."

Our Adoption Story---The Phone Call

[For the beginning of this story, see earlier posts below...]

Our months of waiting were interrupted on February 16th, 2004 with the long-anticipated phone call from Inna. These words filled my heart with joy: "I think I have a possible referral for you." To our complete astonishment and delight, he had been born in the exact city we had once called home. Inna later explained that she had focused on that baby house once she learned that we had lived there.

Everything changed with that phone call. The "unknown" became "known." The "you need to adopt a son" became the reality that a seven-month old Kazakh baby boy was waiting for us in a baby house in a city and country we loved. His name was Bolat.

Having a name and a face in our minds only made the waiting more difficult. Our hearts began to engage and our prayers turned to asking God to comfort and protect this baby who would one day be our son. But other than thinking and praying, there was still very little to do except wait, and wait some more.

And so we began the agonizing wait for the phone call that our dossier (paperwork) had been released. We also waited to see how the Mountain-Mover would manage to get us back to Kazkahstan.

[In honor of our "Bolat's" upcoming 5th birthday, I will wrap up this story in the next few days. Thanks for following along. I won't leave you hanging much longer. Make sure to come back for the "exciting conclusion!"]

Our Adoption Story---The Purse of Heaven

[Since I've been re-telling the story of our adoption this month, I thought it fitting to share that on Saturday, our family celebrated the 4-year anniversary of our Adoption Day. On June 21, 2004, Blake and I appeared before a Kazakh judge and were granted the right to become the parents of a beautiful Kazakh baby boy.]

And now, back to our adoption story...


Since my memory of events can't be fully trusted for accuracy anymore, I've been re-reading my journal from the months of our adoption. My journal entry from December 5, 2004 reads: "I'm on the edge of my seat. I absolutely cannot wait to see how this is going to unfold. How will the Lord do it? When will we leave? What will his name be? Where will the money come from?...." Even then I was aware of being in the middle of a great adventure.

Those months of journal entries are filled with resounding themes: our prayers (grappling with both our growing faith and our unbelief) and God's lavish provision and blessing. Over the course of the next several months, in our minds it seemed the Purse of Heaven opened up and poured out upon us in every (un)imaginable way.

Many checks came in the mail, tax refunds were larger than expected, Army drill pay increased, money just had a way of appearing. "Wow, God" was our frequent response. When all was said and done, more than $25,000 arrived on our doorstep!

Friends sent boxes of boy toys, clothes, orphanage donations and even a beautiful collection of hand-made jewelry so we could gift the caregivers at the baby house. To this day, we have never experienced anything like this. The clear provision of God helped to bolster our faith-----because we STILL could not imagine how Blake would get back into the country.

Furthermore, I was supernaturally empowered to complete the entire "dossier" (50 pages of paperwork) in less than 4 weeks. Before long, everything was in place and we began a new phase of our adoption, the hardest one yet: WAITING.